Book Recap: Moonlit Obsession, Chapter 1

Hello and welcome back to hell, everyone!

Today's project is sort of an amalgamation of new and old ideas. You see, back in 2021, poor innocent Oculus saw a historical romance/adventure novel in their favorite used bookshop and bought the only available copy. The back cover promised an epic story about a British spy and an American patriot falling in love during the Napoleonic Wars; so poor innocent Oculus picked up that book expecting either a roaring good time with a fiery, heartstopping romance, or something faintly ridiculous but entertaining in classic bodice-ripper fashion. What I found instead was a jaw-droppingly stupid narrative with the most incompetent spies I have ever seen, and so many red flags and creepy undertones that it sent several seasoned bad-story veterans screaming from the chat in my writing group. Yours truly included, at a certain point.

I'm sure y'all would feel terribly slighted if I didn't share the pain with you.

Originally, I thought of writing up a review here and I've been meaning to get to it at some point next year, but that just wouldn't give me enough space to dissect every single brain-punchingly dumb or horrifying plot point. And since my latest recaps were fun to do and reasonably well-read so far, I figured I'd try the same with this book. It'll be less funny-snarky and more analytical-snarky this time around, but I'll do my best to let the fail speak for itself. Behold: the first chapter of the eyebrow-raisingly-titled Moonlit Obsession, written by one Jill Gregory.

source: Goodreads

Movie Recap: Bridge of Dragons, Act 3

Welcome back to the last leg of our journey, princes and princesses. Hitch up your wedding smocks, because this recap is going out with a bang – this is Bridge of Dragons, Act 3!

Movie Recap: Bridge of Dragons, Act 2

Welcome back to my action movie rogues' gallery, dear readers! I'm in a hurry this time because this segment of Bridge of Dragons has one of my favorite dumbass action movie scenes ever filmed (I think you'll know it when you see it in the recap), so let's get right into it. Ready, steady, action!

Movie Recap: Bridge of Dragons, Act 1

Hello, everyone. This is Oculus Recaps, which is a thing now, apparently.

Yes, here I go again like Whitesnake: after the unexpected amount of fun I had snarking at my dearest U.S. SEALs 2, I figured I'd sacrifice a few more braincells to revisit some of my other beloved Nu Image masterpieces. Undisputed 3 is way too unironically good for me to poke fun of, but there is another gem I have been meaning to return to and feature on this blog. That would be the 1999 action-adventure-romance Bridge of Dragons, which doesn't have a single bridge nor a dragon in it, as far as I recall. It does, however, have a lantern-jawed Action Man fighting an evil general for the love of a feisty princess, and said lantern-jawed looker is played by one of my favorite Action Man crushes: Dolph Lundgren. And who else would direct such high-octane cinema than Master Isaac Florentine himself?

I love Bridge of Dragons, dear readers, even when it hurts my head, and I'm here to make you love it too. Crash helmets on, sporks out, painkillers in hand, let's begin right away with Act 1!

Movie Recap: U.S. SEALs 2, Act 3

Home stretch now, girls and gentlefolk, so let's not waste any time! All I'm going to say before I get into the last half hour of this amazing experience is that despite my snark, I want everyone to know that I adore U.S. SEALs 2. Is it a good movie? Hell no - but it knows its own weight class and delivers solid, honest entertainment in that category, with every actor giving their all to each of these stupid, ridiculous, batshit, out there plot points and fight scenes. I admire a movie that has a heart, and U.S. SEALs 2 has so much, I find that I just can't stay mad at it even when it punches my brain for the fifteenth time in 94 minutes.

On to the dumb!

Movie Recap: U.S. SEALs 2, Act 2

Back and at 'em with the stupid, friends and femmes. Here's the second part of my recap of the most action movie ever: U.S. SEALs 2: The Ultimate Force, directed by Isaac Florentine.

Movie Recap: U.S. SEALs 2, Act 1

Hey again, everyone!

Not gonna make excuses for vanishing this time: 2022 was a very tough year for me, so I fell rather behind on almost every writing and blogging project I have. I do want to make up for the 2021 Sleaze-A-Thon falling through, though, so I will post the only review I have managed to write for it this month as a sort of mini-penance... as well as finish something else I started last year for y'all. Namely, I've been writing a recap for the most action movie I have ever seen: a little gem titled U.S. SEALs 2, an unforgettable follow-up to a mostly-forgotten action movie called U.S. SEALs, both from the famed low-budget fun times film studio called Nu Image. This bonkers sequel was directed by my favorite schlockmaster and direct-to-video wizard Isaac Florentine, so we're in good hands. I have been very fond of Mr. Florentine's output since my first jaw-on-the-floor encounter with Undisputed 3 (I made my mom watch that one with me and I still refuse to feel embarrassed over it), and this one didn't disappoint either.

Get ready, we're diving into the schlock in 3... 2... 1...