Book Recap: Moonlit Obsession, Chapter 15

Nafter noon, gentle readers! After yesterday's epically hilaribad recap, I'm bringing a bit of a breather with a shorter chapter before we start plumbing the depths again. I was considering doing a double feature this time, but the next chapter is on the longer side and I'm trying to keep my momentum, so that'll have to wait.

Nonetheless, enjoy!

Pictured: me trying to keep up with the super mega spying.

Chapter 15: Good Job Staying Covert

Last time on Moonlit Obsession: before and after having the most hilaridiculous sex I've ever read in a romance novel, which is a claim I do not make lightly, strangely-named spy Anemone Carstairs and her muscular love Stephen Burke decided to finally discuss some spy business... and it was as incompetent as we've come to know and love. Turns out that the fishy business in New Orleans is being orchestrated by a Napoleon fanboy aristocrat, and a mysterious mustachioed mastermind nicknamed the Spider, who is rumored to be ruthless and impossible to catch. Keep those adjectives in mind, because they'll come back later in a giant pair of squeaky clown shoes. Before finding out what the deal is with those two, though, the two super mega spies have to work together to rescue Burke's bosom buddy, Johnny, from aboard the ship Belvidere.

Chapter 15 opens by describing a sunset, and I have to pull out the words "Glorious banners of mauve and orange streamed across the sky" – aside from that being more purple than Barney the Dinosaur, I'm mentioning this bit because it was the very first sentence of the novel that I read in the used bookshop, back when I was looking at it to see if it was worth reading. Seeing this convinced me to expect a faintly ridiculous bodice-ripper good time. Had I known what I would be treated to instead... I would have bought the book anyway, because I love to suffer. We also get to hear that "There was charm and beauty in the scene", which immediately ruins any charm and beauty the scene might have had. Thanks.

Turns out the Sea Lion has reached port in New Brunswick, which is where the Belvidere is stationed right now. Anemone and Burke are getting ready to free Johnny, which they plan to start by gathering some intel in the harbor while posing as husband and wife. Be very afraid. As they discuss what to do, Anemone looks at Burke and thinks about how he's clearly readying himself for something dangerous, then she treats us to this.

Johnny Tucker was his best friend, and his pain was Stephen's pain. And Stephen's pain was hers. She was every bit as determined as he that Johnny Tucker should go free.

Settle down, ma'am. I was going to make a joke about her only knowing this guy for two weeks, but no – turns out weeks have passed since last chapter, but given that it took less than two weeks for Anemone to declare herself besotted forever with Burke, my point still stands. It's then revealed that the expensive clothes Burke clad his lady love in were originally intended for his mother and sisters; he makes a crack about Anemone having to walk around naked for weeks if he hadn't had a bunch of dresses lying around right now, and I know he's kidding, but I wouldn't have put it past him to actually not give her any clothes after taking away her maid outfit. (No, I'm not letting that go – you'll see in my final thoughts why not.)

To be quite frank, I then started skimming the descriptions of Anemone and Burke strolling through the harbor and "covertly" stealing looks at everything they walk by. You know I'm willing to point out the bits that do actually work, but I have very little reason to care about this Johnny fellow's freedom at the moment, and most of what happens in the next roughly two pages is conveyed through paragraphs the size of bricks, with zero dialogue to interrupt them. My eyes were just glazing over. What I could pry out of those bricks is that Anemone is obviously a bit nervous, and that they find an inn to have dinner; the innkeeper instantly thinks about how "only the best would satisfy" Burke and his lady love when he sees them, and he personally escorts them into a fancy parlor and serves them a "mouth-watering feast".

SUPER MEGA SPY!

Good job staying covert and under the radar, guys.

After eating, Burke and Anemone decide to question a few people, starting with the innkeeper. They ask him to come see them, and I find out that Burke decided to use his real name when he came to the inn. He'll fit right into the Carstairs family, with spy talents like these.

Anemone decides to take over the questioning by name-dropping a guy she knows on a different ship, the Zenith, patrolling around New Brunswick – smooth – then Burke gives the innkeeper their cover story: namely, that Anemone has a brother on the Belvidere and she wants to see him before the ship departs. 'Cause that won't fall apart at all if the innkeeper decides to mention to someone that one of his guests is a super duper elegant lady with a sexy American husband... who just happens to be looking very hard for a ship holding American prisoners.

SUPER MEGA SPY!

Luckily for Boris and Natasha, the innkeeper eats up their cover story with a spoon, and tells Sea Urchin to find her nonexistent brother quickly because the Belvidere is leaving port tomorrow. Anemone and Burke are obviously taken aback by the news, but because their innkeeper is apparently Barliman Butterbur, he still sees nothing at all suspicious in their demeanor – not even when Burke gives him money to tell them where the Belvidere is docked. Smooth. He then all but kicks the innkeeper out of his own parlor, telling him that they won't need a room for the night, and he and Anemone agree they have to move quickly. I eagerly look forward to the genius plan they're about to cook up.

After Burke calls Anemone "my pet" again and I gag again, she comes up with the brilliant idea of distracting the ship's crew so they can sneak around instead of taking them on directly. I know she keeps making Mata Hari look like Virginia Hall (there's your history nerd joke of the day), but hey, she can come through when it counts. Burke decides to use Anemone for a diversion by playing "a lady in distress", and we're treated to an amazing exchange.

"It might work," she remarked after giving the matter a swift analysis. "If the crew of the Belvidere and the Zenith are men of chivalry."

"Let us hope for all our sakes that they are," he said grimly.

If that is the best plan they can come up with after thinking this hard... yeah, they're truly soulmates. Two halves of a brain make one, or something.

Anyway, Burke offers Anemone a chance to stay out of this business if she's scared; nevermind that she's a spy, not a very good one, but one would think he'd have slightly more respect for her– wait, I forgot who I was talking about, nevermind. Anemone refuses, there's a supremely icky description comparing her to a kid with a birthday present as they're kissing, then they end the chapter by Burke saying "I'm beginning to wonder how I've managed anything at all without you".

I'm wondering how you're managing anything at all with her now, my man.

Stay tuned for the next part, gentle readers, where we see the result of the two super mega spies wrinkling their brains together to come up with the perfect plan for Johnny's rescue. It'll hurt.